Then you will know
When he wants to hold your hand in public and sees only you in a crowd.
When he turns off the football game to talk.
When he doesn’t close his eyes until he’s sure you’re sleeping comfortably.
When he brings home flowers and gifts "just because".
When you are sick he holds your hair back and gently washes you.
When on his non-work days he cooks you a delicious meal and cleans up afterwards.
He refers to your father as sir and your mother as mom.
He combs your hair, lotions your body and massages your feet after he bathes you.
He crawls out of his sick bed to get you a cup of tea
He refers to his paycheck as "our money".
Then and only then will you know…..
you can cheat on his crazy ass cause that fool aint trying to lose you."
"Beef Stew"
My panties were soaked as I stood there with my head pressed firmly against the hotel room door and my legs spread wide apart. All I could think of was how good it felt to have his fingers buried deep inside me. The sheer sound of my wetness distracted me from the guilt I once felt. How could I do this to my husband. The person whom I promised to love, care for and respect two years ago. The one who has provided for me and our children without fail or complaint. How could I, echoed through my head when I first arrived, but quickly was silenced with the touch of his hand and the warmth of his breath upon me. I had to fight it, but couldn’t. I surrendered slowly with each turn of his fingers. With each carefully placed caress upon my clitoris I pushed into him more and more. I believe he sensed it as well because his breath upon my neck became heated and more intense. It's hard to describe, but easy to remember. You had to be there. All I could do was hope I could control myself and retain some control over myself. I quickly realized that was not going to happen when he switched hands and cupped my breast. Headed towards his mouth was my now aching nipple as another finger slowly glided inside of me. Three fingers! Never in my life could I imagine three fingers, but it was happening. I was pleasantly surprised with the precise pressure he supplied to my hard nipple. Firm, but gentle, heavy-handed, but tender is the way I would describe it. My breasts were mine and he handled them as such, but the actions of his mouth left no doubt; they belonged to him this evening. Feverish up and down, circular motions from his warm wet tongue around my swollen nipples sent shock waves down to my ankles. How could this man make me feel this way? I completely gave my trust to him. Something I never did with my husband. Now don’t get me wrong he was good sometimes, but never this good. I mean this man; and I mean man, controlled my breathing with each touch, with each kiss and even with each look. I can remember him staring into my eyes while he had my breast in his mouth. How he looked as if this was the most delectable thing he ever had in his mouth and just at that moment he swept me up into his arms and carried me to the bed. He undressed me slowly and completely before he began to kiss me from head to toe. That felt good, but the return trip was even better. He inched up my legs from my now relaxed toes to my inner thighs using only his strong hands and warm mouth slowly and meticulously. My nervous anticipation grew as I could feel his breath closer to my, you know vaginal area. This was really going to happen I told myself as the guilt returned to my mind. Here I was being pleasured beyond my wildest expectations and my husband was sitting at home all alone. I had made him his favorite meal, beef stew. (At least it used to be his favorite) When we first got together he used to love my beef stew. I would place beef stew meat into my slow cooker, mix together flour, paprika, salt, and pepper and sprinkle over meat and stir in beef broth, teriyaki sauce, onion, carrots, celery, potatoes, mushrooms, garlic and finish with bay leaf. "Oh my" I wondered, "Did I forget to add the bay leaf"? Before I could answer my own question, it came. My entire body shivered as his prowling tongue and fingers uncovered parts of my body I never knew existed. I knew about my G-spot, but I never knew it could feel this way. Suddenly and without warning with his moist tongue pressed solid against my clitoris and his fingers massaging my eager G-spot, a loud monstrous moan escaped from deep within my soul and air deep from between my legs. Briefly mortified I opened my eyes to see him feverishly devouring the liquid that released from between my quivering legs. Again and again it happened over and over and each time he inhaled every drop of me as if my juice provided him life. The only time his mouth left my vaginal area was to retrieve his saliva that dripped down my legs and under my buttocks. Euphoric is the best way I can explain it as his tongue thoroughly probed in and around my anal canal. I heard crack was addictive and evil, but he gave good crack! A little levity is needed to prevent the guilt from re-entering my mind. This maybe once in a lifetime moment was not all my fault. If only my husband would have gone to church with me, this probably wouldn’t be happening. If he only stayed home with me once in a while instead of going out and working all the time, this probably wouldn’t be happening. This wasn’t all my fault. I mean I cook his food, clean the house, wash his clothes and never complained, at least to him once in our two years together. This one little indiscretion could have been avoided if he only recognized how good a wife I really am. Instead I lay as this powerful man's member entered slowly into my wet vagina. I'd been waiting for so long to feel him penetrate me and couldn’t control my desire as I wrapped myself around his strong shoulders and pulled him further inside me. He wouldn’t have it however as he moved patiently and deliberately inside me. The sounds of my wet vagina being penetrated along with the smell of our sex engulfing the room sent waves of unbridled and totally uninhibited passion racing through the orifices of my mind and body. I held on and pushed and pulled forcefully with each thrust of his manhood, not concerned about the damage this man member could do to me for life. I wanted, no I needed it and he fulfilled my ravenous craving. Reeling, I released on him over and over again until by entire backside was soaked with my own juices. Quivering from my ninth or tenth orgasm in less than an hour he took his first break. I seized the opportunity. I wanted to please him in the way he pleased me. I got on my knees and removed the saturated condom from his hard erection and...
Ding! Sorry folks that was my microwave. I have to finish reading her diary later. It's time for me to eat my leftover beef stew!
Writer, Producer and Director of seven off-Broadway productions including over 180 magazine articles
for major publication.
Completed projects as Writer, Producer and Director:
- “The Trial of Mumia Abu Jamal“, original stage-play based on a true story
about a convicted prisoner on death row. Original produced in 1995.
- “The Council“, original stage-play examining the horrors of spousal abuse seen through the eyes of four angry couples.
- “The Boldness of Hypocrisy” aka Talking Black, original stage-play depicting four so-called "noted scholars" discussing relevant issues that affect the African-American Community.
- “The Boldness of Hypocrisy“, original stage-play depicting the self made man and the privileges awarded to him.
- “Preying on the Church“, original stage-play focused on the tumultuous plight of a young tempted Baptist minister.
- “Leticia“, original stage-play focused on interracial romance.
- “Does it Rise“, original stage-play comedy/drama about a married man terrified he may have possibly contracted AIDS.
TELEVISION/VIDEO:
– “The Trial of Mumia Abu Jamal“, writer for series of videos BCAT
RADIO
- “Brothers“, Writer and contestant winner - WBLS
- Time Machine, writer for radio station morning show
Works in progress
"Boldness of Hypocrisy, "The Troy Anthony Davis Story"
"Voices", Executive Producer/Writer
"The Trial of Mumia Abu-Jamal (post-production)
"Habeus Corpses", The Troy Anthony Davis Story (student film)
"Black Waffles“, original screenplay (optioned)
“Blacula“, Original Screenplay
HERE ARE SAMPLES TO ENJOY
Did I tell you the story about Lou? Anyway there was this guy I used to bartend for. Lou was his name. Cool white guy. Well one day while we were sitting around after closing he told me this story. Now when Lou started blabbering you knew you were going to get paid. You see anytime anyone would sit down and listen to one of Lou’s stories he got sentimental. Those sentiments lead to charity. He would pay for your cab ride home, or buy you a drink or just give you a few dollars. That was Lou. So when he wanted to talk I was a little short on my cable bill, so I listened. To make a short story long, he began with his childhood. How he and his family was this upper middle class family living in one of the best neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Now he was the youngest of six children. Both his parents were elderly and his siblings were much older than him. The one before him was fifteen years his senior. He never could hang out with them. His parents were too old to do much of anything, so he started hanging out at a nearby soda fountain shop. Most of the kids from school would go there and have a soda fountain, raise havoc and split. Not Lou though. He would stay there drink soda and listen to the adult gossip. Now I don't know if you know what a soda fountain is, but it’s this drink made from ice cream and soda. They put it in this big glass… but anyway he hung out with these people. Now the owner Bob or Bill I can't remember his name did not mind Lou hanging around. I mean Lou was not like the other kids. He would come in very respectful, help out if Bob or Bill needed him or go to the store for the other patrons. They really liked him, especially Bob or Bill. He was the son he never had the customers would say. Hell he hung out there more than he did at home, but when his mother found out she hit the roof. I mean she forbade him to ever go there again. His father who barely said or did anything but sit on the couch drink, watch TV and wait for the mailman to bring him his social security check; would tear his butt up anytime she would mention the shop. Said it was because he disobeyed them, but Lou believed he beat his butt so he wouldn't have to hear her complain about being too soft on him, but that didn't stop Lou. He stayed away for a little while until he befriended the smartest kid in school who didn't live far away from the shop. Lou would claim he was going to his house to study. Since Lou was getting good grades and they didn't want him around anyway they could care less. Anyway, I'm not going to keep you long, let me just finish this. While on a visit to the soda shop he met this woman. Her name was Zephanyre. She was named after the Babylonian queen. They called her Penny for short. She was a black woman with big assets, and these eyes that were so exotic it would hypnotize you. He really liked her. She was always very nice to him. Hell she was the reason why his grades were so good. She was the one who helped him with his homework. She would come into the shop and clean up. She always hated to see an ashtray filled up. If there was one butt in it she would empty it and clean it. Now she was from Africa somewhere, we don't know. So when she spoke phrases or words common to us; it came out different when she said it. How we would say, “The sun rises in the east and sets in the west", she would say, "Well my sun rises in the west and settles in the east” or “To a blind man, two left shoes are a pair until the right one comes along and messes everything up.” Now even though he didn't understand everything she said he still would listen. Just to be in her presence made him feel good. Well one day while he was there she did not show up. Then two or three days passed and she still had not shown up. Now he didn't want to say something to one of the elders from fear that they may think he was minding grown folks business, but when the fourth day came he got enough courage to ask. What happened to Penny? That’s when one of the elders told him, “She moved.” Now poor Lou was devastated. He had grown accustomed to seeing her everyday and enjoying their conversations. His Penny was gone.
Now I’m going to speed this up because I know you all have things to do. Well years went by without his precious Penny, but Lou graduated high school and accepted a scholarship from the University of Washington. Lou was happy as so was his father, his mother was a different story. See Lou's father was once a highly respected student and professor at the University of Washington and couldn't be more proud that finally one of his son's was accepted into his alma matta. His mother wanted Lou to stay close to her. She told him, "You can never go home". Despite her protest Lou left in the fall. He was more than happy to escape the lonely depressing life he had living in Brooklyn with his family. Lou needed love and attention and he soon find it. His first year at UW he met a beautiful woman named.....hmmm. I can’t remember if it was Rose, Petunia...no, no it was Iris. No I got it now Isis, Isis was her name. I can’t remember her name unless I think about a flower. Anyway Lou and Isis were happy together. You see she was kind of in the same situation Lou was in. She never knew her father and her mother who abandoned her at an early age was unable to establish any kind of meaningful relationship with her in her teen years. Lou felt they shared so much in common he would say, "It was us against the world." After two years of dating they married. Two years from then they would have their first child, a boy followed by their second child a year later; a girl in Lou's first year of teaching at UW. The proud parents were happy until...
Lou received a phone call. His father was gravely ill and wanted to see him one last time. Now Lou wasn't close to his father as you know, but this was his father and he had love for him nevertheless. He hopped on the first available plane to New York to be by his father's bedside. His father laid a heavy deathbed request upon Lou. He wanted Lou to take over the family restaurant. Now Lou didn't even know the family had any business. His parents were very secretive in their dealings and never discussed much in front of the children. Well at least not him. Lou always thought his father got a great pension and social security was paying well. (Hey he was a naive kid). Lou's father told him how his father built this restaurant and ran it successfully for years until his death. His only request to Lou's father was to keep the family business alive. Which he did until the soda fountain shop moved next door several years later. Lou's father had to close shop after hanging on for a couple years until business fell off completely. It was now Lou's time to reclaim the family business and pride. After his father's death Lou flew back to Washington to discuss his father's request with his young bride. She was happy with any decision Lou made as long as they were together. (Yeah you can say it because I did too, "Lou had one hell of a woman.")
Lou took over the restaurant as soon as his family settled in Brooklyn. He moved far away from his mother and siblings to avoid "distractions". Since the fountain shop was failing (I mean a fountain shop can only live but so long) Lou was able to get the restaurant booming in no time. His fifty cent lunch time special of a large hot plate of French Fries and Cherry Coke was popular among the students. All was well for a month until Iris; I mean Isis told Lou she had to return to Washington. Her mother died. Lou wanted to be by her side, but she made him promise to continue building up the restaurant; she would be fine and home soon. Which she did, but she was not the same upon her return. She was distant and depressed. Lou knew it and thought it would pass in time, but unfortunately it didn't. It was time for them to sit down and talk.
Okay I'm not going to keep you much longer let me jump to the chase. They met at the restaurant next door, (by now if you don't know I bought the old fountain shop and opened this beautiful eclec..ekle..electr...nice bar where the prices are right, the music is banging and the people... oh my bad) they met at the restaurant... I already said that. Oh, she opened up to Lou and told him that her mother passed away from a heart attack, but she and others believed she died from a broken heart. She was a young woman with no history of heart problems, but still her heart failed her suddenly. She continued on about how she regretted not getting to know her mother. How she was so hurt when she left her that when she returned she had a deep hatred and animosity towards this woman she still loved. She explained how her mother pleaded for forgiveness but she was too angry to forgive. Now it was too late. She was gone and the memories were few. The only thing she could hold on to were her quirky sayings such as "My son rises in the west and settles in the east", or how “Two left shoes make a pair until the right one comes along and messes everything up." As Lou sat there with his mouth open about to faint, Isis emptied the cigarette butt from the ashtray.
My Big Black Cat
Panther, genus panthera, described as large, fierce, beautiful, exotic, I know him simply as my big black cat. My big black cat goes with me everywhere I go. He is my companion, my friend, my protector. His sleek beautiful powerful body. His full deep dark lips with piercing eyes that penetrate my mind. His hulking long mahogany limbs to screen my flesh and comfort my fear.
Some people and by some people I mean friends and family, call him a beast an animal that can’t be trusted. He’s not like us. He doesn’t look nor act like us. They and by they I mean those who know what is best for everyone, even question his intelligence, his upbringing. For years they have gone to great lengths to hunt, persecute, maim, capture, torture and even kill to extinguish his existence. All I can say to those who refuse to know him is, he’s mine. Every inch of his heart, body and spirit belong to me and me to him. I wake every day with his body laying warmly next to mine. His breath against my skin, his titillating tongue betwixt my quivering toes. His powerful arched back which are unforgiving tranquil pillows of consciousness to my soul. His unwavering commitment to my safety, my happiness, my joy, my pleasure only solidifies why I can’t be without him. My cat allows me to feed him well and often and he loves it. He eats four, five sometimes up to six hours a day. Fulfill him with beatitude. Just what every woman needs to keep a happy home. So don’t cry for me America. Keep your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, poor, tired and confused. Keep in high regard those so-called authoritative figures who pass judgment in bathroom stalls or twelve year old boys. Wave your flags in the air and party like you just don’t care, about starving children, homelessness, joblessness or war. Now a preacher or a teacher or a electrician, a fighter, or a writer, or a politician, the cat with the key to my ignition is black baby, there is no competition. Two inches or a yard rock hard or if it’s saggin, not in my house. You see my cat is large and that may be intimidating to most, but just right for me. He’s not a puny pussy who purrs if he wants something, he growls. I guess that’s why they follow us around in stores and why a corner boutique I used to visit now has a sign outside which reads, “NO BLACK CATS ALLOWED”. Is it the stride in his walk, his massive chest, his broad shoulders, his powerful legs, his full lips, penetrating eyes, his long wet tongue or is it me or ’63. If this is change we can believe in, I want my dollar back. Cash rules everything around me, cream get the money, dollar, dollar bill y’all.
The Morning Sun
Her bedazzling smile breaks through the night sky
The warmth of her breath awakens my body and
Solidifies my once exhausted mind.
However is it my mind that this beauty has harden
Or could it be my throbbing massive organ within
Oh excuse me Miss, I beg your pardon.
You see sometimes I get a little carried away
Thinking about how her brilliant orb shine
Or how her hot celestial body sway.
I regress
Adorned in incandescent yellow with a tinge of red
Visibly swollen, burning, festering to be unleashed
Lies a carpet to match her wondrous spread.
Showering myself in between her iridescent ray
Bathing in the secretion of her aromatic spray
I say yes, yes to this new day.
Thirsting, pining for her trembling limbs, her golden frame
A hungry sultry stare, her arousing early morning massage
Her steamy pleasures is why a brother has no shame.
I digest
You see the rules change, but the players remain the same.
However there is no shame to this player’s game.
Without fear of retribution or persecution I speak of what I know
Whether from my mind, heart, spirit or soul.
However, I must confess in order for a people to progress we must undress the bs and other mess used by congress and the self righteous to oppress the depress. I profess that this process may take a little finesse to compress the abscess left by those who judge success by who wore the biggest headdress. “Me big chief, no village.” Having less than a guess in how to address and express the distress that has led us to manifest…..destiny…
***CLICK PLAY***
Mr. Irrelevant
He was all alone in the world. He left behind his newborn son when he was seventeen and had been on his own for the past thirteen years. Sad one would think, but Mr. Irrelevant didn't seem to mind. He had himself and felt that was all that matter. One day down to his last few dollars he went to his normal spot, the neighborhood liquor store to play a few numbers. As he was about to enter the store a sightless elderly woman was standing in front of the store. "Please Mr., God sent me these numbers in my dream". "Can you play them for me because I can not go inside there”? I promised the lord if he saved my life I would never go anywhere near liquor again". Mr. Irrelevant wasn't moved. "Please Mr., play my last dollar so when I hit I can pay the eight thousand dollars I need for an operation to save my life". Mr. Irrelevant had to get into the liquor store to play his own numbers. He snatched the money and the number from the elderly woman. "God Bless you" she said as he walked into the store. He played his numbers first then gave the cashier the elderly woman's number. "Make that fifty-fifty", he bellowed to the cashier. After he got the tickets together he walked out the store to the elderly woman. "Here old lady", as he shoved the ticket into her hand. The elderly woman looked at the ticket and said "This is just fifty cents". Mr. Irrelevant already on the move shouted back, "They would only let me play fifty-cents", as he hurried down the street. The elderly woman shouted back "Where's my change", as Mr. Irrelevant disappeared around the corner.
The next day while on lunch as a track handler at Belmont Park, he opened a nearby newspaper. In the front to his surprise was the number the elderly woman had given him. After the initial shock wore off Mr. Irrelevant jumped in glee. He just won eight-thousand dollars. It was short lived however as he remembered he only conned the elderly woman out of half. Well half is better than none he thought as he went down to cash his winning ticket. Four thousand dollars richer he was and he was going to make the best of it. He purchased a brand new used car. (You know the kind that come with the new car smell), new clothes and spent the rest gambling every night. His spending habits in just two short weeks depleted his new found wealth to just a hundred dollars. He was damn near broke again. He felt his luck had to change and change quickly, but it didn't. (At least not as soon as he would have liked it) Down to his last dollar and still working at the track Mr. Irrelevant noticed the results board had not been changed. It had today's date instead of yesterdays. "Wait a minute", he thought to himself, "If this is today's result what if I played the winning combinations and hit it big". Whatever he was going to do he had to do it quick because the last race of the day was coming up and he had only a dollar. Anxious for the big payday he asked several patrons he met while working at the track to lend him twenty dollars. He found one kind soul who granted his wish as he hurriedly rushed to place his bet. "Twenty dollar superfecta 8,3,9,2", he shouted to the cashier just seconds before the race began. As the race neared its conclusion the 8 was first, the 3 was second and the 9 was third, but the 2 was running fifth behind the 4 horse. "Get out of the way", was the last words heard before the 4 horse came crashing to the ground throwing it's jockey hard onto the track surface. Mr. Irrelevant looked at the result sheet he tore from the wall and noticed the 4 was listed DNF. (Did not finish) "The official result 8,3,9,2" the track announcer was heard over the loud speaker. Mr. Irrelevant was a hundred and twenty thousand dollars richer. He jumped and shouted with glee as the patrons watched in horror as the ambulance wheeled away the mangled jockey and horse.
Mr. Irrelevant was on top of the world. With his newfound winnings he paid back the twenty dollars he borrowed from the kindly soul, purchased a luxury car, more clothes, but decided to stay away from gambling. No, Mr. Irrelevant wanted to show off this windfall to everyone. First on the list were his baby's mom and his son. Yeah, his son was going to realize his father was paid. He started his trek first thing Monday morning, first visiting the cleaners to drop off a few items before starting the long road trip. Unfortunately for Mr. Irrelevant he hadn't made sure his brand new luxury car was up to the task because it broke down a few miles before his destination. He was fortunate however to locate an auto repair shop nearby. The mechanic told him the problem was minor and he could have it fixed in a couple of hours. Mr. Irrelevant was in a rush and asked the mechanic for the closest train station. Following his directions Mr. Irrelevant jumped on the first train arriving in the station. As he sat in the train car with one strange looking character he noticed a newspaper. Not wanting to make eye contact with this stranger Mr. Irrelevant read the paper. "Two Shot in Brooklyn", was the headline that caught Mr. Irrelevant eye. They printed the name of one of the shooting victims, a fourteen year old boy and pictures of the suspects sought in his shooting. The picture of one of the shooters caught Mr. Irrelevant attention. He didn't know why, but he felt connected to this short round suspect. The story read "After donning masks they announced a stick up and robbed the commuters on the train, when one of the suspects shot the fourteen year old victim". His condition was unclear at press time. The article continued about an unrelated shooting of an unidentified male, but the one that caused concern to Mr. Irrelevant was the train shooting, but he didn't know why. As he reached his transfer point he closed the paper only to reveal it was tomorrow's morning paper. "Another windfall perhaps", Mr. Irrelevant happily anticipated as he looked around the now empty train. "Where the hell did that guy go", he thought as the train doors opened. He noticed the size of the crowd gathered on the platform waiting to board the oncoming train. He knew there might not be enough room for him to board. It was getting late in the day and Mr. Irrelevant knew he had to make this train. When the train stopped and the doors opened he seized his opportunity. Pretending not to push, he pushed the commuters in front of him into the train knocking down and elderly man with a cane in the process. “Why the hell they let these damn handicaps on the train”, he thought to himself as he squeezed into the train car. His opinion on the handicapped was quickly suppressed as the train whistled into the tunnel. He was headed home.
He watched through a window as the orange blue sky came into focus as the train emerged from the tunnel headed towards its outside destination. “Two more stops”, he thought to himself as he made final preparations on his reaction to meeting his son for the first time. He decided he’d go with shock over anger, disappointment or sadness. After all it was her word against his that he knew he was the father. It was around the time of “free love” and you’d be a fool if you didn’t think it, was the excuse he practiced over and over in his head. Yeah he had it all worked out in his mind that it would work to perfection as long as he believed it. His thoughts were interrupted however when the conductor announced, “This train is going out of service at the next and final stop”. “You can transfer there for the next train directly behind us”. “I can’t believe this”, mumbled Mr. Irrelevant as the train screeched to a stop at the station. As he and other frustrated commuters exited the train he told himself, “Can’t lose your cool now you’ve come too far”. Just then he looked up the track to see there indeed was a train directly behind him. With relief across his face he looked skyward and whispered to himself, “Just one more stop”. His relief was short lived however, as he noticed the train was packed and he was buried deep behind frustrated commuters. “Hey, if it worked once it’ll work again”, he thought to himself as he pushed his way once again onto a crowded train. The poor guy with the cane couldn’t catch a break as once again he came crashing to the train floor as anxious commuters scurried throughout the train for any open space to stand. Mr. Irrelevant lucked out as he was able to place himself into a nook between the closing doors and away from the heated passengers. Just then to his shock and horror he looked up and saw the two suspects in the train shooting boarding his train car as the doors closed. To make matters worse as he nervously looked down and away to avoid eye contact with the shooters he saw the fourteen year old boy who was shot on this train was seated next to him. He had to think fast on his feet so he quickly maneuvered himself away from the line of fire to the opposite side of the train. His relief over his decision was short lived as the young males shouted, “Everybody out your money this is a robbery”. “I’m not playing” the thinner of the two shouted as he and his partner raised their guns in the air. As the nervous angry riders conceded this was indeed a robbery, Mr. Irrelevant went over the events stated in the paper in his head. Only one person was shot in the robbery and some other poor dope not related to this robbery was shot, he remembered. As he was in deep thought he was approached by the thicker of the two perpetrators. “Give up the wallet man”, he stated in a boyish voice. Mr. Irrelevant feeling not so threatened complied and gave the young male his wallet and cleaning ticket which was stuck inside the wallet. “I said your wallet, not your grocery list the young male shouted as he pulled out the ticket. Feeling his safety was assured Mr. Irrelevant replied with hands in air, “Take it I don’t want any problems”. The young male looked long on Mr. Irrelevant before continuing on to other commuters. A feeling of calm came across Mr. Irrelevant. He wasn’t shot and all it cost him was a few hundred dollars. “Lucky thing I didn’t bring a stash of money”, he thought to himself. Just as the moment of self appreciation reached it’s climax a thunderous sound of gunfire engulfed the train car. As Mr. Irrelevant looked to the direction of the gunshot, he could see the young fourteen year old male crumple to the ground from his seat as a mass frenzy ensued quickly as the now petrified commuters began to scream and duck for cover as the train pulled into the station. When the train doors opened the two robbers quickly ran onto the platform to the exits as Mr. Irrelevant followed behind them. As they reached street level the robbers ran south as Mr. Irrelevant walked north towards his destination. “I’m finally home”, he thought to himself as he continued down the now chaotic streets.
Block after block after block Mr. Irrelevant passed anxious screaming men, women and children frantically running towards the train station he just left. He thought to himself, “I better pick up the pace before these streets are packed with everything under the sun”. As he neared his destination he rehearsed over again in his head the speech he pre-prepared. Anxiety filled his mind as the commotion on the streets continued as he reached the front door. He rang the doorbell and awaited the response he would receive. An elderly woman peered from an overhead window and yelled down, “Yeah who is that”? Mr. Irrelevant looked up and yelled back, “I’m looking for the residents of this apartment”. After a short pause the elderly woman shouted down, “The mother and step-father took off to the train station”. “Didn’t you hear, their boy was just shot on the train”? Mr. Irrelevant stood silently in place as the elderly woman shut her window. “Could this be my son”, he thought to himself. Unsure of what to do next he slowly walked away from the building through angry scared parents and neighbors running in the streets. Through all the commotion an idea came to him. “What if I, the long lost father arrive just in the nick of time at the hospital to see his critically injured boy”. What a perfect feel good holiday story and he would be the star of the show he thought to himself. I can spare a few dollars for his hospital bills and whatever stuff came up to help the family. I would be the hero regardless of whatever happened in the past. This was a win, win situation he thought as he stood in the middle of the street smiling as people continued running past him. Just then it hit him as he realized he had to look deep inside his soul and decide whether to utilize the information he held in this profitable informed newspaper deeply clutched within his no money having hand, or travel all the way back to his small cramped home and get some money and utilize the information he held. Problem was it was too late to play the stock market, however he still had time to play the late double at OTB and the Lottery. It was then that he realized he needed more money and now. Without hesitation he looked around for the best plausible route to arrive safely “home”. He noticed a cab stand across the street. “I can have the cabbie wait for me while I run in and get some money, pick up the ride and be back in time to get my bets in”, he thought to himself. As he eagerly made his way across the street towards the cab stand he was totally unaware of the exploding sound the bullet made that ripped into his neck. Forgetting instantaneously about his future exploits by the pain induced by the bullet in his neck, Mr. Irrelevant was reduced to a fallen heap as he crumpled in the middle of the street he just walked. As he strained to open his one working eye he noticed the blood from his wound soaking his once profitable newspaper. As he attempted to grab a hold of this treasure he realized he was unable to because all feeling was gone from this side of his bloody stiff body. Just then he noticed a cane smack right in front of his good eye as the figure above him stepped over him and continued down the street. The last words he heard before he passed out were, “Handicapped enough for you”, by the stranger who refused to assist our now fallen Mr. Irrelevant.
Lights camera and loud noises awoke our Mr. Irrelevant as he lay upon a blood soaked gurney. Unable to speak because of the damage to his vocal chords by the stranger’s bullet Mr. Irrelevant was reduced to communicating with the few working fingers on his body. Doctors working feverishly to reach the patient recovering in the room across from Mr. Irrelevant could be seen flocking into the room with inquiring reporters and flashing cameras. Our young rejuvenated teenager could be seen sitting up as his family rejoiced knowing their son would make a full and complete recovery. A dying and depressed Mr. Irrelevant could only look on at his once family and reflect with his final thought, “If only I would have bought the smaller economical vehicle.”
You see online dating can be stressful for some, but disastrous for many. Take my man Tony for instance. Tony was an intelligent successful young brother with a future many could only dream of. The only problem with Tony was; he was lonely. Now Tony was a good looking brother, but he had a problem talking to the ladies. He was fine in front of his mirror, but when it came time to a one on one he was tongue tied or as we like to call it corny. The one asset Tony had was he was good with words when preparing briefs and proposals. Also he could type fast. So Tony ventured into the world of online dating. His first night was troubling. He couldn't believe everyone knew everyone's momma in the biblical sense. Not to be discouraged he pushed ahead to a second and third night. Third night turned into first week, followed by second week followed by first month, but finally Tony was able to connect with someone. She had the same likes as Tony, she didn't live too far from him, but the main thing to be honest; her pic was banging. Every time Tony logged on he would look at her pic. Now she wasn't a star, but she looked good and he knew he had to set up a meet quickly before the other online dogs would hook something up before him. He arranged for next Saturday at eight.
Next Saturday came and Tony was anxious and nervous. He fixed up his one bedroom apartment the best he could. His apartment is what I like to call a straightaway. Soon as you enter the front door you're in the living room. Straight ahead is his skinny hallway where only one person could lead. Off to the right was his tiny bedroom. Straight ahead was his so-called dining area and straight ahead from that was his kitchen followed by his back door. Off to the right of his kitchen was his tiny bathroom. Tony looked around his tiny apartment and was happy with the final results. I mean come on Tony was a bachelor and to be able to turn a bachelor pad into something respectful takes effort; and he was pleased. It was almost eight when the phone rang. It was her, Mikquisha. Oh my bad I forgot to tell you her name. (Why do we mess with our children's name like that?) Anyway Tony was aware that was her online name, not everyone used there real name like my man Tonyluv at aol.com. She made the wrong turn off the highway and got lost, however she found her way and would be there in thirty minutes. Tony was okay with that because his duck was still cooking in the oven. He wanted everything to be special. While he was waiting he decided to crack open another beer. It was his fourth out of the six pack. If she liked beer at least he had two left just for them instead of the three which would have looked....ah forget about it, Tony was a drunk. Tony made his last minute check of the layout and smiled at himself in the mirror. This may be his night he told himself when all of the sudden he felt that twinge. He bore down hard on his stomach muscle. "Oh no not now", he said aloud. He bore down extremely hard until the feeling subsided. He let out a sigh of relief. All was good in the world once again, until the phone rang again. Mikquisha, "I'm on Maple Road right now". "I turned down the wrong street and headed west instead of east". "I'm about twenty or so minutes away". "Wait for me". What else could he do, but wait. However, not everything had the same plan. "I could make it real quick" he thought, "but what if the smell lingers" he struggled with. Time was passing. Tony had to make a decision and quick. He decided to go for it. He ran through his kitchen into his bathroom. He grabbed the bathroom air freshener, but to his horror it was empty. He quickly looked through his medicine cabinet and found a book of matches. He lit two quickly and slammed the toilet seat hard against the back bowl, he sat and let loose. When I say he let loose I mean he let loose. It wouldn't stop. He knew time was against him so he had to move fast. Once he was finished he wiped and washed. (Lesson to the fellahs: you can never be too clean. Get that cloth with some soap on it, and scrub) Once Tony was finished scrubbing he lit two more matches and waved them around his bathroom frantically when the doorbell rang. "Oh my damn" he thought. He flushed again quickly, checked himself in the bathroom mirror and looked to the sky for any kind of support he could get at that moment. He went to the front door and opened it for his Mikquisha.
She walked in looking good. "Can I get a hug at least", she asked a clearly nervous Tony. "Of course", he said as he hugged her tightly. Smelling good and looking good Tony knew he hit the jackpot.
As she broke away from his warm embrace she asked. "I've been driving around for over an hour can I use your bathroom"?
The old man told him to take the fifty cents and give it to the first homeless person he met. He thought to himself how is this going to help me get what I need. The man as if he was reading his thoughts reassured him by saying, "Trust me this is what you need, now go." He walked down the street pondering his next move. Now I can take this fifty cents and buy me a cup coffee, but hell a small cup was sixty cents. I could save it in my loose change water jug or I could just blow it on the numbers. With all the many ideas he came up with he couldn’t decide on which to choose. As he waited on the light to change to cross the street he noticed a homeless man lying on the sidewalk holding a cup. “Can you spare a dollar for something to eat”, he pleads. The many passerbies’s continued on ignoring the pleading man. “Please help me”, the man continued. He watched as the homeless man reached out to the people and received nothing in return. Not even a return look. He decided then he would do what the old man told him to do. He walked over to the homeless man, reached down and dropped the fifty cents into his cup and began to walk away. The homeless man shouted back aloud for everyone to hear, “What the hell is this, I said a dollar.” Shocked and upset he turned to look at this ungrateful little snot. The homeless man again shouted. “Can’t you hear or do you have wax in your ears, I said a dollar.” Feeling surprisingly embarrassed he decided he needed to make a quick getaway rather than get into a confrontation with this irate slob. As he stepped off the curb to cross the street the homeless man lunged at him. He forcefully grabbed his arm and yanked him towards him just as a speeding car trying to beat the light zoomed past his torso. Visibly shaken by the near miss disaster he looked towards the homeless man who just saved his life. The homeless man in a trembling voice remarked. “That was a close one.” “Thank You”, he said to the homeless man. The homeless man not for a loss of words replied. “You almost got away without giving me my dollar.”
